What Some “Only” See
By Bob Lovelace
Most members
of the church are familiar with Ephesians 5:22-33. This is the great chapter on
Christ and the church that presents the relationship between husbands and wives
as it ought to be. I should say as God would have it to be. It says a lot and a
lot has been said about what it says. It has been taught in bible classes by
capable teachers of the word to both young and mature
alike. It has been preached throughout the land by ministers of the Gospel. I
dare say that when it comes to the “family” that this one chapter is used more
often than any other and just think of the many points that it has to offer.
To give you
easy access to this consideration I’ve included the text here. Please don’t look ahead to end of this
article for what some “only” see. Do read this with the attitude of mind and heart
that James speaks of when he says, “Therefore putting aside all filthiness and
all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which
is able to save your souls.” (James 1:21)
Ephes. 5:22-33
“Wives,
submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. [23] For the
husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and
he is the saviour of the body. [24] Therefore as the
church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to
their own husbands in every thing. [25] Husbands, love your wives, even as
Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; [26] That he might
sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, [27] That he
might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or
any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. [28] So ought
men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth
his wife loveth himself. [29] For no man ever yet
hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: [30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his
bones. [31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall
be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. [32] This is a great
mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. [33] Nevertheless let
every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
What are the various points that we are directed to as we
think about Christ and the church, and husbands and wives?
1. The wife is to submit to her own husband as unto the Lord.
“Submit”: hupotasso, Greek
5293, Strong’s, hupotasso, hoop-ot-as'-so; from Greek 5259 (hupo)
and Greek 5021 (tasso); to subordinate;
reflexive to obey :- be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue
unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit
self unto.
2. The husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the church.
3. Jesus is the Savior of the body, the
church.
4. As the church is subject to Christ so let wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Perhaps you as a wife need to meditate upon that word
“everything” here and compare it with your subjection. Is yours a
“so called” subjection lacking in some things? Which is it? What is the
truth? Is “everything” your problem? “Everything” suggests that with a godly wife
submission is not a problem in anything! (This excludes of course whenever a
husband would require that she disobey her Lord. That’s really what this is
about ~ obedience to Christ as our Head.) Do you submit to your husband as your
head in just “some” things and do as you like in other things freely admitting
that’s what you do? It says “as the
church is unto Christ.” One’s eternal salvation comes into
view as we know that we must submit to Christ or else be lost eternally!
5. Husbands are to love their wives as
Christ loved the church. Paul puts
the purity of the church with this point. Christ has sanctified and cleansed it
by the washing of water with the word. For some reason God’s word isn’t as
important as it should be to some when it comes to marriage. “Love” here is “agapao,
Greek 25, Strong’s agapao, ag-ap-ah'-o; perhaps from agan
(much) [or compare Hebrew 5689 (`agab)]; to love
(in a social or moral sense) :- (be-) love (-ed). Compare Greek 5368 (phileo).
The word “love” points to a husband’s “duty” to love her. He will fulfill the obligations God has set
forth for husbands towards wives. This includes such obligations as that of
headship, working to provide for her and their family, the tender care and
concern as set forth here in these scriptures, and commands elsewhere such as
in I Cor. 7:3. He fulfills these because it is his
“duty” to love her as God directs. And he will be blessed as he does these
things.
6. Husbands are to love their wives as
their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. He will
nourish and cherish her just as the Lord does the church. The word “nourish”
here: ektrepho, Greek 1625, Strong’s
ektrepho, ek-tref'-o; from Greek 1537 (ek)
and Greek 5142 (trepho); to rear up to
maturity, i.e. (genitive) to cherish or train :- bring up,
nourish. And the word “cherisheth”: thalpo, Greek 2282, NASB thalpo; a
primitive verb; to warm, hence to cherish :- cherishes(1),
tenderly cares(1).
Marriage set
forth in Ephesians five is more than a practical solution for physical lust or
desire (I Cor. 7: 9).
Many husbands “quit” treating their wives properly immediately upon
completion of the wedding and consummation of the marriage. In just a few days they show themselves to be
self-serving, egotistical and harsh. Being foolish through sinful lusts and
pride “this” kind of concern for their mate’s development along with the tender
care and affection that is necessary to build a marriage does not concern them. And they always
have trouble as a result!
7. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
8. Each wife is to see that she respects
her husband. She respects the
position that God gave to the husband as the head of the wife.
This is
written in such a way that Christ as our Head and our submission to Him is
foremost. We are to keep our own salvation in mind as we read this and also
consider carefully the way we conduct ourselves as husbands and wives. Perhaps
you need to read the verses again and underscore the statements that present
Christ as your head which necessitates your submission and obedience to Him!
Why is it that some seem to think that the way they
conduct themselves as a husband or wife has no bearing on where they will spend
eternity?
Now, what do
some “only” see in Ephesians 5:21-33? Sadly, some husbands “only” see SUBMISSION! There is so
much more there that God requires but that’s all they see. One wonders how they
can “see” the necessity of their own wife submitting to them but they cannot
“see” the necessity of their own submission to God’s word? They can be lazy but
man do they see submission. Or they can be harsh but they still see submission. The sexual relationship can have no
tenderness and romance inter-related with it but they see what?
Equally distressing
is the fact that some wives “only” see LOVE! He is to “love” me and not be
bitter against me (Col. 3:19). He has to love me! In fact many only see “love”
as they saw love before they married. The “love” before she married him did not
require her to do what? It did not require her to submit for he was not yet her
husband. Love in marriage without headship is not Bible love.
Additionally,
dear reader, I Peter teaches that men who “do” see the necessity of this
submission “can” see the necessity of their own initial submission to Christ
and obeying Him in baptism. (I Peter 3:1-2)